Still Not the Best of Years.....

First Off,  I have been failing at writing in my blog for the past year... and I don't have a good excuse.

Secondly, this year still hasn't been the best of years, I suppose that I am doing better than I was a month or two ago, but I'm still not doing awesome.

I spend my time, either working, or hanging out alone with my cat and dog....each day getting closer and closer to crazy cat lady status. Even now as I write this I am sitting in my bed alone..no pets....not sure where they are...


Not much has changed, I have two jobs, my weekday job is slowly eating away at my soul and my weekend job allows me to pet puppies and fall in love with kitties, you would think that it would kind of balance out, but all in all I am not happy with my working situation, but I came up with a "Solution" and that solution is that I will allow myself to quit my weekday job at the end of June, even if I don't have a weekday job to replace it....and I have started the count down...and two of the weeks between now and then will be vacation weeks and speaking of vacation.....I have NO IDEA what I am going to do with my time off.  The initial plan was that I was going to clean the house, and get things done as we were going to put the house on the market in May, but that may no longer be the case.  Now Daniel, my brother, might buy half the house, to lessen the financial stress on my dad without us having to move.  I'm still not sure how I feel about it, especially since we have been putting in work into the house, I painted my room and cleared things out to the point where my room doesn't even feel like my room, so I don't know how I will feel if I end up not having to move.  So if I dont have to move I dont know how I will spend my week off...sadly I think I will spend the majority of it alone.  I would like to go out and do things but that is easier said than done when you have no one to really go with, I guess its the downside to being single with non single friends, and the downside to getting older and growing a bit apart from your friends, I was always told that it happens but I was determined that it wouldnt happen to me, but it kind of has.  I love my friends and when we are together it is awesome but the fact of the matter is that I don't see them very often, I dont even communicate with them as much as I thought I would and it's sad.

Actually writing about this is making me sad, I feel alone, I have all these ideas of things that would be fun or things I would want to do, but there is only so much you can do on your own......

Not My Best Year, thus far.

I think it is important that I get back into blogging as it will give me the opportunity the let thing out and put my thoughts out there into the magical interwebz world, and who knows, perhaps it will be beneficial.  So I haven't done any blogging since back in September and I think there are a few reasons for that, mainly I got busy with a new job, and got very down about my life, and why blog if you feel as though you have nothing to share....

So what was missed in the last few months of 2013?
 Firstly, I got the Job at Ambius as a plant care specialist, and in time I have learned that it is in no way a job for me, it is boring and could be done by a monkey, but the pay is decent so I am trying to stick it out.  The rest of 2013 wasn't exciting, I spent it working Monday-Friday and not doing much else aside from working, I didnt really see anyone and ended up getting quite sick the week before Christmas.  And I guess the last part of 2013 was New Years Eve, which was quite possibly the most depressing New Years Eve I have had in my 22 years of life.....
I was hoping that I would not be abandoned on New Years, but sadly it happened...I had bought a really pretty new red dress with the intention of wearing it for new years, and I did put it on and I got dressed up and took a few shameless mirror selfies....and then I sat on the couch in my dress, eventually got cold and put my bathrobe on over the dress and moped on the couch with my Dad, eventually I gave up on even attempting to celebrate the New Year and Crawled into bed at about 10pm.  I spent my New years essentially alone in my bed, the fireworks at midnight let me know that the New Year had begun.
Why was I alone on New Years? I suppose it has to do with the fact that my friends have other friends, and jobs and significant others and I guess in all that some people get forgotten and I guess this New Years I was one of the forgotten people.....

So now it's the New Year and what can I say about 2014 so far.
I can say that I entered they year alone, and mildly depressed and things haven't really improved.  I picked up a weekend job so I would have something to force me out of bed on the weekends.  It's a job as a "Pet Detective" for Blue Buffalo pet food.  Essentially I hang out in a pet store in Surrey and talk to people about their pets and such.  I like the fact that at least I get to have some type of social interaction at my second job.
I can say that my mom left for Jamaica with Mike a little over a week ago so I am watching her house, cat and dog.  This has resulted in me spending more time alone as I am alone with only pets in my mom's house.
I can say that Tuesday Mornings seem to hate me.  Last Tuesday I fell down the stairs and this Tuesday I burnt the crap out of my hand...bad things happen in threes so I wonder what will happen next Tuesday......
I can say that I have gone from mildly depressed to quite depressed, it even reached a point where yesterday when I was at the doctor for my hand, I brought the issue up with my Doctor, and she made some recomendations:
    1. Exercise, at least 15 minutes a day
    2. Make plans with friends, at least two little plans a week
    3. Set Goals
    4. Take Omega-3's
    5. Talk to someone
So far I am taking Omega 3's, I have been walking my moms dog three times at day, and yesterday Kristy came over for Dinner, so I suppose I am making progress, but I am still not feeling awesome, I am still down...
I can say that due to the burns on my hand today is my second day not working and I am actually enjoying the break, my hand is feeling better but I don't know if I'm ready to lug watering cans with it yet...only time will tell.

I will try to keep better track of 2014, and hopefully things will begin to look up....

One bad thing :(

Things have been going well, for the most part. 

I have been exercising about 5-6 times a week with my mom, which is good for both of us.  I have been eating better which is good for me.  I started my second job at starbucks, I have had two shifts and they both went alright.

Last week I had an interview with a company called Ambius, for a Plant care specialist position.  In all honesty I had forgotten I had even applied for the job , and when I agreed to the interview I wasn't actually sure what I was agreeing to...
but it went well, the position seemed interesting, and I was told I would hear back early this week, but I actually heard back three days after my interview, on the Friday, while I was at my other job.  I was informed that he wanted to meet with me again on Monday and talk with me more about the position and such.

So Today is Monday, I had my second interview with Mike at Ambius this morning at 9am.  I arrived only 15 minutes early due to traffic, I waited in my car until a slightly more appropriate time to go in, and I chose 8:55.  I chatted with Mike and it was basically decided that they wanted to hire me on full time and just need to know how we can start training since I do currently have two other jobs.  So far it has been decided that I will come in on Thursday to fill out paper work and we will go from there.  I was and am excited, especially since I can now give my notice at my soul sucking job :)

Now comes the one bad thing. 
I took my brother to the ferry terminal when I got back from my interview so he could go and pick up a car from my late Uncles wife, and on the way back, for the first time in my life I got a ticket.... and it was really upsetting.  I have nothing on my record, but no warning, no nothing and while I was pulled over people sped by me, much faster than I would have been going, they made my car shake.  I almost cried upon receiving the ticket, but kept it together until I was back on my way back home, then I cried, got really sad, and basically allowed the ticket to ruin my day... I paid it off on my way home... rather reluctantly, and now I only hope it wont affect the job I just got, as I will be driving a company vehicle......
I feel like I failed, I can no longer say that I have never gotten a ticket :(  I'm just like everyone else, not only that, I thought I had little money before...but now I really have little money and I have another week and a half to go before I get paid
I'm upset, and I'm more upset about the fact that i am allowing this one thing to ruin my day, I got a job today, I have a girls night tonight, I should be happy, but instead I'm sad and upset about the fact that I got a ticket and that I am letting it have such a strong influence on how I am feeling.  I'm not really excited anymore, I dont want to do anything, even though I have things to do... I just want to mope because now I am like most other drivers, I feel defeated, and sad


I have no Lesson, I guess it should be Don't let one bad thing ruin a good day.... but I let it happen

Not any closer to an answer...

With each passing day I find it more apparent that I have no idea what I want to do with my life.  I don't know what I like doing, and I only know a few things that I dislike doing, so I'm not sure where exactly I should go.

My original plan had been to dabble in different things to try and figure out what I like.  The Problem: You can't get the opportunity to try.
It's really hard to try, when you need to try to try, it's very discouraging...
I apply for positions that seem interesting, but sadly due to my lack of experience I get no response, and therefore I work in the retail world... a world I hate.


I will soon have two jobs, neither of which I would want to do forever.  I picked up a second job for a few reasons.  1. I need a change, working your summer job for longer than the summer is very repetitive and mundane 2. Hours at my first job are going to be cut and I need the money so I can start to pay off my student loan (Which I am getting a head start on as I don't need to start paying it back till November)

I've always got a plan, I always know what I'm doing and now I dont and its stressful.

This is the first September since I was in preschool that I am not going back to school and it makes me sad.  When you're a student its okay that you don't know exactly what your doing because at least your in school, you're getting an education, but now that I am out I just don't know

Since the future of my career is very unknown I have decided that maybe I should focus on some other aspects of my life in which I have more control, such as my personal health.
Since completing my degree my health has been on the back burner.  I eat garbage and have become nothing more than a lethargic blob and Ive decided that I need to change that and that this is something that I control.  I control what I eat and I control how much physical activity I do, so I want to change.  I had been doing so well at school and then I cam home and became a blob.  I lost the definition I had gained and gained the weight that I had lost and me not being happy with the way I look only adds to the feeling of depression I'm experiencing with my lack of direction in my life.

I have set myself some goals for this month, goals that are attainable, and I'm hoping that by having them and posting them on my wall I will be more inclined to work to reach my goals.  I am also gotten my mom on board in the getting into better shape boat.  We are going to try and work around our schedules and get in time to exercise together so we can both be healthier and feel better.

So far we plan on meeting tomorrow at 6am to go for a jog, its a bit early for my day off, but I need to make these commitments, because then I will actually do something rather than just sitting on my but as I currently am...

Another thing I want to plan on doing is 20 minutes of yoga a day, which will be like nothing in the grand scheme of things but I think the benefits could be awesome, my muscles and joint could use some attention.


Today's Tip

Set Goals you can Attain, and give yourself a time in which to accomplish said goals.

It's time for a new blog

       I have spent the last four years of my life going to University, more specifically the University of Northern British Columbia in Prince George, and throughout those four years I kept a daily blog. It was a way of tracking events that occurred and in some cases it was a way for me to vent about things that I didn't have an outlet for. I took the summer off from blogging, and now I have decided that it's time to get back into it. I feel as though I'm at an interesting point in my life and it might be a good opportunity for me to blog.

        I finished up at school in April, and then I ventured down to Panama for a three week field school, which actually made me realize that I may not be ready to be done with school, I questioned my degree... which was an unpleasant feeling, but all in all going to Panama was an awesome experience and I would love to go back. When I returned from Panama I began searching for work... and I searched and then i gave up on finding relevant hobs and began applying for whatever I could, I got one interview, at J76, which is a Yoga apparel store, and I heard nothing back from them. While on my desperate job search I visited my mom at work, and her work was my work for the past three summers and I did not want to go back to the retail, home improvement job, but while visiting my mom, one of the managers over heard me talking about how I was looking for work and he told me that I should come back to work there, but I told him they didn't pay me enough. Long story shot, they gave me a raise and I was back to soul destroying work. Throughout the summer, until these last couple of weeks I kept 40 hours a week, but business is slow and hours are being cut, so I began searching for job number two, so I can make enough money to pay of my student loans, pay my dad rent and to save up some money as well. This past Thursday I had an interview at Starbucks, and I didn't make it to the second interview, they hired me after one, which was in a way exciting. I can get more hours and I think the change of work might be good for my spirit, and maybe I will be slightly less depressed.

          I'm hoping that this blog will give me a chance to get my ideas out there, and to vent when I need to vent and who knows maybe I can even pack on some knowledge, assuming I get some knowledge along the way.

         For now I will pass on the importance of sleep, which I am about to participate in. Even in University I was never one to stay up late and cram or enjoy the night, I function better in the mornings, which can't be said for all, but what can be said for all is that sleep is important, and well rested person is happier and more productive than a sleep deprived individual.

Today's Tip

 Get Enough Sleep

 ZZZzzz